Joy

Joy was the wet and slippery, the heat that took me by surprise, the purple question-mark laid on my elastain sack of a belly

Joy was the eyes enquiring after only seconds outside me, searching me out through the scrunched up screams-the calm in recognition after the trauma

Joy was the fluid spouting forth from my body unbidden when you cried
Sustaining you

Joy was the nestling in the crook of my arm
Your smell on me, your trust, your skin,
Kid leather too big for your frame
A suit yet to fill

Joy was your growth, ounce on ounce
Measured by weight not height

Joy was walking by the sea with the cold spray in my eyes
The ice on the ground
But you swaddled against my chest inside my coat beat to beat

Joy was waking with you staring into my eyes

Joy is seeing you grow into a boy full of delight and wonder at your world

Joy will be seeing you grow into the man
My son
Always the tiny one and at once forever
Larger than my heart can contend

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